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New Definitions

Smoking

In straight porn, the fetishization of smoking cigarettes as a factor in a scene's erotic appeal; may also refer to cigars, often in gay porn.

Like so many things that are bad for you, it's still sexy. And it's a strong indicator of an oral fetish.

Cunnilingus

Oral sex performed on a woman.

If you can't deal with her at her cunnilingusest, you don't deserve her at her fellatioest.

Stockings

Sheer, patterned or fishnet stockings held up with garters or a garter belt; sometimes

One of the few things the modern world hasn't improved on.

Swingers

Married or partnered couples who engage in sexual activity with other, similarly inclined friends or strangers, often in the context of swing clubs or neighborhood groups; often referred to as wife-swappers or polyamorists.

If your hot tub has never had a swimsuit in it, if your wedding reception had an afterparty, if you believe in unicorns, you're probably a swinger.

Teacher

A male or female performer playing the role of a teacher, either in high school or college; usually portrayed as engaging in sexual activity with students.

In porn, every teacher is a sex ed teacher.

Underwater

Porn featuring a submarine setting in a pool or natural body of water as a location for sexual or erotic activity.

There's always a place in porn for people who can hold their breath for a long time.

Uniform

The use of a military, police, medical or other uniform as an aid to erotic activity; often associated with BDSM or gay porn.

A uniform is supposed to make people all look alike, but what good does it do if you just end up throwing it on the floor?

Upskirt

The surreptitious filming of a woman in a skirt from beneath or behind her in the hope of catching a glimpse of her undergarments or lack thereof.

If you carry a camera around with you and film up women's skirts on the bus, it's not creep y - it's just a good business opportunity!

Vibrators

Toys designed to stimulate sexual desire by means of powerful and variable vibrations; may be phallic and insertable or otherwise.

Literally everyone has a vibrator nowadays - if you go through airport security and you don't have one, they take you aside and ask if everything's okay.

Voyeur

A person who derives sexual gratification from watching others engage in sexual activity; those being watched may or may not be aware of the voyeur's presence.

The nice word for it - if you can get the jury to concede that you're a voyeur instead of just a Peeping Tom, you're halfway home (if you just do it at home, you won't end up in court at all).

Amateur

Porn featuring performers who don't make a living at it.

Just as with the Olympics, there's something purer and cleaner about a true lover of the sport. Amateur can mean anything from Girls Gone Wild shenanigans to Homegrown hardcore, with plenty of shades of gray in between.

Amputee

Performers missing limbs because of amputation or congenital defects.

When you want less of a good thing. Usually, most of the good parts are still attached.

Asian

Porn featuring female performers of Asian descent.

As with MILFs, teens, horseshoes and hand grenades, close is good enough. "Asian" pretty much covers any ethnicity from anywhere on or plausibly near the Pacific Rim, including India and its many neighbors.

Bald

An area of the body that has been shaved for erotic appreciation; most often the head or genitals.

A shaved head is way harder to find than a shaved pussy, and much more noticeable when they have clothes on.

BBW

"Big Beautiful Woman": A descriptor for a woman whose body is larger than the traditional porn norm; extremely relative, but may range from slightly chubby to extremely obese (Super-Size BBW).

Husky, chunky, curvy, Rubenesque, big-boned, super-sized, or just plain fat - there's more to love with a big, beautiful woman. Get to huggin' and chalkin'.

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